Just a talkin!

So Im going to try to make this quit and say what all I want to say but I gotta be quick because Brian is wanting to leave moms in about 10 minutes! So this has started before but everytime I hear something about Israel or the world ending my stomach goes all to pieces. This is really hard for me to write but Im going to anyway. So when I was 12 I went to church with my sister and asked the Lord to save me that day. I was so excited but my mother, MY OWN MOTHER, didn't believe me because she said I wasn't old enough to know the difference. I felt so different that day. I never read my bible and stuff like I should and after my mother told me that I just felt defeated or something. I never prayed like I should or anything but for about the past 6 or 7 years I've tried to start doing better. I know Jesus came on this earth to help us and save us so that we could go to Heaven and live forever. I know that Hell exist. It's just always been the Devil there telling me I wasn't really saved since my mother said that the one day. So anyway.....here within the past 2 years or so Ive really tried to do better and live like I should for my children. But I don't know why my stomach hurts whenever I hear something about the world ending??? I know eventually it will....am I ready for it not really. I would like to see my children grow up and stuff a little more. So today my stomach was all to pieces again because I saw a sign that said "We support Israel." Why do I do this???? It just hurts I guess I dunno. I just had to write and get it off my chest....thanks for listening!