miI try to come here to not just vent but sometimes I feel like I just need to write it somewhere. I feel like I'm failing as a mother as a wife as it all! Some days i just want to give up. I came home today so happy and ready to take my kids and enjoy bible school and then it all changed. I walked into a disaster. My father in law has let the girls run wild. I had 3 clean separated clothes baskets well now they are all mixed together plus adding dirty clothes on top of them. I had them separate so i can go through clothes in the dressers tomorrow and get the small clothes out. Well then you can't walk in my house without tripping on toys. Why do i even try? Why did I go to work to make money for my family when I can't do it all? Is this why we never have friends because they don't want to deal with my baggage? I feel like I should be able to keep a clean house for my family, work, and still keep up. It's so hard. When I was at home the house was clean, supper was done, and I could play with my kids and they were happy. I feel like I spend 75% of my day yelling at them when I am off and the other 25% is spent running running running cause I only get 2 days off. I feel like I'm failing my husband cause I can't keep stuff clean, I'm failing my kids because they don't have friends anymore or they can't hang out with friends because im.too busy. I'm failing my kids because I can't play with them because I have to clean or I'm too tired. I fail mu husband because I can't be the wife that cooks supper and let's their husband rest. Ugh I feel like I'm failing at it all but yet life goes on.
Why can't I be like other moms and wives? on days off I know people that do homework, clean, and still make time for their kids and to have fun with friends. Why can't I do this???
So you know what my house hasn't been cleaned in 4 days....no clothes no dishes nothing. But you know what I'm making it my goal tomorrow to not clean anything but my work clothes. I'm sure it won't happen cause I will feel guilty like always but hey at least it's a goal. I want to take my kids to the pool or the lake but that won't happen so I've come to realize it and live with it. Oh well life goes on. Let's see how my goal works out.
Lord give me the courage to accept the things I cannot change and let me know that it's okay because sometimes I just don't feel like it.
Don't feel guilty, you are a great Mama, you do more for those kids than most people do! Most everything you do is done so they can have fun! I can't even imagine having three kids and working all the time, and having to be the only person to cook and clean in the house as well.. you're a super woman haha! I can tell you it gets easier, we have Sawyer now and its a little harder but with Hudson and Callie being 7 and 5 is FAR easier than when they were Addie and kaylees age. Its easier when someone can take responsibility of cleaning for you and help you.. and the girls will be able too. For now, just accept the toys being everywhere and just do the best youc an, and don't feel guilty. You love the girls and they are growing up great! Work has to be tough, I can't even speak on that because I have no idea how anyone ever does it.. but its hard to be busy! Don't feel guilty, enjoy your kiddos when you have time too, the cleaning will happen, and one day you won't have to do it, and you won't remember all these times when you did I'm sure!
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