Love Dare 101

SO I guess today I should blog about two things. I am starting this "Love Dare" with some of my friends. This is kinda like the one in the movie "Fireproof" but its a little different too. It's just us starting something to try to analyze our marriages and strive to be closer to God in our families. If you would like to start the link is http://lovedare101.livejournal.com ! You will need to make a live journal first but its a great way to bring couples closer to God and learn how to love. The second thing I want to blog about is just how stupid this new modem I had to get is. I thought phone jacks came on all computers now days but I guess now…..it did not come on my new one. So we went out and bought this modem that you plus in a USB port and then plug phone line in it. Well my internet has already messed up twice because of it. I never had a problem with it before now. I am so mad! I did a back up disk and restored my computer so maybe it will work for awhile. The internet still isn’t as fast as it normally is but its okay I will try to fix it later. I am just happy to be online again. So now that I told you about the second thing first here is the first thing I wanted to blog about…….
My friends and I are starting a Love Dare. I am not sure how many people are doing it, but I do know there is 3 plus me so far. We are starting today but before I write my first post I wanted to take a minute to reflect on the first 4 years together, the engagement, the first year of marriage and marriage so far.
So we dated forever. We met because I had moved in with some people from school and he was working for them. I was so excited when Gary came into Hardee’s and told me that him and Stacy had broke up because it meant maybe I could get a chance. (Sry Stacy) So we started talking more and it just evolved. I was shocked by how quickly I fell in love with him and wanted nothing more than to be with him. We started dating April 27th, 2004. 11 days after that I had the worst thing in my life occur….my father passed away after 3 months of battling pancreatic cancer. Brian stood by me and we grew so much stronger from that. After that happened and I graduated HS, I moved back home. My mom offered Brian to move in with me, so he did. We have been inseperable ever since. We have been through my grandmother passing, his grandfather passing, his fathers illness, and so much more. Everytime we go through hard times it brings us closer together.
So we got engaged on Feb. 8th, 2008. I had taken him to Gaitlinburg for V-day and well surprise to me. It was amazing because he told me no getting married until I graduated from college. That was tough because all my friends were getting married and I knew I wanted to be with him so I just wanted it to happen. Everything happens for a reason because after we married in July I got pregnant. We got married July 12th, 2008! That was one of the happies t days of my life. It was just an incredible feeling to know that I was finally marrying my best friend, and my SOULMATE! He truly is my soulmate and I don’t know what I would do without him. The first year of our marriage has been filled with ups and downs. We have had a child, Kaylee, and gone through the best of times. It hasn’t all be great though. We did fight a lot about stuff he was doing and how I was acting and other stuff. Every marriage has ups and downs but we stuck through it.
I guess there are 3 main things that bug me most about Brian. Just recently he has started hanging out with Stephen again and that’s all good and well but Stacy and I have to watch the kids while they go and have fun. They go fishing all the time. I know he needs to do something he likes but I just don’t think he realizes that we are home alone with 3 kids. Sometimes when I go over to her house we sit and talk and that’s snice because I like to talk. We have so much sometimes to talk about. Of course Kaylee plays with Callie and Huddy….well they try! I need to learn to accept his fishing hobby and realize that it COULD BE WORSE! The second thing that bugs me is he dips. I know it shouldn’t but after so long of him saying he will quit it gets OLD! He told me he would stop around March so that by the time Kaylee got here he would have quit. Well Kaylee will be 5 months old tomorrow and he is still dipping. I need to start taking money from him for every can he buys and let him realize just how much he is spending. We could just use that money for something else. Oh well another thing to deal with. The third thing that bugs me is he always expects me to handle Kaylee unless he wants to hold her. He wanted a child as bad as I did but I don’t think he realized it would be a lot of work. Children are a gift and a precious gift from the Lord but they are work. He works and I stay home all day with her….sometimes I would just like 5 minutes ALONE! I hear crying, feed her, change her, etc. and he gets mad when I ask him to hold her sometimes. Don’t get me wrong he loves her, he does help, and he is a GREAT father but I just wish he would help more. One of the best things we could have done is get back into church. We got very discouraged there for awhile because every church we went too and started to love the preacher left. We just felt like we wasn’t supposed to be in church. We recently just started going to Powdermill again but this week we are going to Pleasant Hill because I want Brian to hear Rodney preach. We will decide where to go from there but I like that church and I think he will too. So we need to find a church and attend it regularly and quit skipping from place to place, but as long as we are in church it is okay. We will find a place soon that we need to be.
Some places that I would love to streghten our marriage is finances, family time, and acting like a family. Sometimes we get over taken by what we need to do and do not set aside time for ourselves. We don’t have much family time and I would love to go places as a family. I hope we can afford one day to take his parents and his sister and brother and sister in law and go on a vacation. We also need help in finances because Brian is horrible with money. I am pretty good but I want to pay bills, get groceries, and gas and then buy stuff we want. Brian would rather buy stuff and not leave the money for bills. He is working on it though. I am proud because since kaylee is here he has gotten better, we just need to get MUCH better. There are more ways I want to stregthen but Kaylee is waking up, so for now I will stop but before I do the first post I will write more!